玉人何处

YM&YPM中毒患者,越剧迷,经常试图破次元壁

【中秋节沙雕脑洞】继刚才YM白先勇合集之后搞一搞越剧玉卿嫂

《哈克嫂》(改自越剧《玉卿嫂·除夕夜108句》节选)

天哪,老天对我不公,老天对我不公啊!

​我本是清白报社出身好,

​改革杂志名声高。

​弗兰克(指政治顾问)帮着我把事搞,

​安妮持家也勤劳。

​养个独女忒宝贝,

一家人,生活虽贫寒,倒也乐淘淘。​

可惜好景不长久,

​人祸天灾顷刻到。

先是顾问被盯上,

撵到国外音信杳。

安妮以为我劈腿,

女权政策又完了。

留下我一个伶仃人,

无亲无眷无人要。

马丁可怜汉皮笑,

伯纳替我把红盒找。

可怜我四十被当成了傀儡人,

从此把政治美梦抛。

上待首相下待秘(秘书的简称),

部里的重担,

我瘦弱的双肩挑。

那时首相刚上台,

我是马屁马脸都拍到,

盼星星,盼月亮,

终于盼到首相帮我了。

谁想到,汉皮他,

拉来外挂阿诺德,

折磨倍数又增高。

我是好言相劝又哀求,

他是说长难句不相饶。

我是打落牙齿往肚里咽,

夜夜流泪到拂晓。

这一切我都忍受了,

谁想到他又在外面,

把歌剧瞧。

谁知道汉皮会同事,

足球队的钱又没了。

足球从此没得看,

汉皮句子更凶刁。

他骂我是扫帚星,

带来了晦气带来妖,

克钱克事克秘书,

克光行政部罪难逃。

我像爵位把上帝叫,

像坟地在雷里爆,

像鸭子在公园漂,

像纪要在锅里烧。

完了哈哈哈哈哈我受不了我自己了哈哈哈哈哈要死哈哈哈哈哈

祝大家中秋节兼哈克日记出版月份快乐!

【沙雕脑洞】继肉总的YM鲁迅合集之后搞一个白先勇合集

《玉卿嫂》(哈克 饰 容哥儿)

就是那么一气,在十号里连交通政策也背不出来了。我和隔壁的斯宾塞还有一个内阁秘书一起关在十号里留堂。斯宾塞给十号留堂是家常便饭,可是我上到行政部来破题儿第一遭。不用说,鼻涕眼泪早涂得一脸了,大概写完圣诞卡,手上的墨还没有洗去,一擂一摸,不晓得成了一副什么样子,跑出来时,汉皮一看见我就拍着手笑弯了腰,我狠命地踢了旁边的红盒子几下,踢得红盒子直叫要回去告汉皮。

​《汉皮作为常任秘书的最后一夜》(改自《金大班的最后一夜》)

“大臣,你这一箩筐话是顶真说的呢,还是闹着玩,若是闹着玩的,便罢了。若是认起真来,今天夜晚我倒要和你把这笔账给算算。你们行政部要做生意吗?”汉皮打鼻子眼里冷笑了声。“莫怪我讲句居功的话:这两三年来,行政部不靠了我长难句汉皮这块老牌子,就撑得起今天这个场面了?傻乎乎的小伯纳德是谁给挖来的?部里两万多公务员难道又是你哈大部长搬来的吗?天天来报到的这起常任秘书里,少说也有一半是我的老相识,人家来你办公室办事,倒是捧你哈某人的场来的呢!再说,我的薪水,你们只算到昨天。今天最后一夜,我来,是人情;不来,是本分。我说句你不爱听的话:我汉弗莱调教第一个大臣的时候,只怕你哈某人连政治小白门槛还没跨过呢。官场里的规矩,哪里就用得着你这位行政部的大臣来教导了?”

感谢肉总 @肉食常春藤 帮忙修改!

灵感来自 @Анна Иосифовна Плетнёва 的哈乙己(阿阿!安娜大大要产粮阿。)


纸雕大神太棒啦!

乔慕森:

汉皮皮,哈克和伯纳德~😂😂😂相亲相爱的一家三口
P2原图

刚才读是首相2010年舞台剧剧本……

小汉的新外号居然叫泡泡,哈哈哈哈哈哈要笑死了

附:是首相2010年舞台剧剧本百度网盘链接(链接见评论,我发现用手机发在正文里点不开)

汉弗莱式脱欧中文版(自己翻译的)

英文版的热度那么多我好感动QAQ我要献出我的拙劣译文了(其实英文版没人看的话我也会发译文)。懒得看英文版的小伙伴可以看我的翻译。背景:2016年英国卫报试图用汉弗莱爵士的打开方式解释英国脱欧。

英文版戳这里

我到底是哪里来的勇气要翻译汉弗莱的长难句以及一堆让人蒙圈的政治术语……来自英语渣渣的哭泣……有翻译不到位的地方还请大佬指出,咱们商量着改……毕竟这是我人生中第一次翻译英语文章。

文中我翻译时实在弄不清楚的地方会附上原文。

没办法,自己喜欢的剧,即使衍生文章也得啃。

—————————————————————————— 

《是,大臣》脱欧特别集——汉弗莱爵士脱欧全解

想知道脱欧实际上如何工作吗?在《是,大臣》的缔造者乔纳森·林恩和安东尼·杰伊的新短剧中,传奇行政官僚汉弗莱阐述了此事。

 

【一间办公室。有人敲门。】

汉弗莱:请进。

大臣:我被告知在这儿我能找到新建的脱欧部的新任常任秘书。

汉弗莱:您的确能。汉弗莱·阿普比爵士乐意为您效劳。

大臣:我就是那个新任大臣。

汉弗莱:哪位新任大臣?

大臣:什么哪位?

汉弗莱:噢,我知道您不是外交大臣——头发,你知道,明显泄露了您的身份[1]——而且您也不是戴维斯先生[2]或福克斯先生[3]。

大臣:我很震惊。我以为行政部门怎么着也能准备得好点。

汉弗莱:一般来讲我们是这样。然而一般来讲首相任命来负责新政策方案的是个人,不是个批发货。

大臣:这儿只有一个管脱欧的国务大臣。

汉弗莱:所以,戴维斯先生在哪儿?我们还没有见到他。

大臣:他在志奋领[4]呢。

汉弗莱:哦对,就是那座首相钦定的让他和鲍里斯与利亚姆分享的官邸。

大臣:是的。他们正为谁拿最好的卧室发生口角呢。

汉弗莱:所以您就是那些副部长其中之一喽。

大臣:并且负责全部法律问题。

汉弗莱:您是个律师吗?

大臣:很不幸,不是。

汉弗莱:正相反,这是最大的幸事。我们行政机构总是反对对于具备过硬专业知识的人士的任命。

大臣:为什么?

汉弗莱:他们预想的那些点子可能会不与政府政策兼容。

大臣:如果这些点子是好点子呢?

汉弗莱:大多数好点子都和政府政策不兼容。

大臣:你赞成脱欧吗?

汉弗莱:您问我的话,大臣,我既不赞成也不反对任何事情。我只是一个卑微的社会公器,盛放大臣们躬耕尽力智慧显耀的果实。所以告诉我——我们为什么想要来到这里?

大臣:因为脱欧。

汉弗莱: 我完全持有这个见解并且当然完全和你意见一致[5]。但是,准确来讲,它是什么意思呢?

大臣:你没听见首相的原话吗?脱欧就是脱欧。

汉弗莱:的确。所以脱欧是保持伦敦城卷入一些或者所有欧洲的银行业、财务和管控活动[6],或者贸易关税的状态的意思吗?是和欧盟公民一样限制英国国民的活动权利的意思吗?脱欧可能包括在欧盟法律从我们的岛屿王国撤退时修正我们自己的主权法吗?脱欧的意思是新的健康和安全规章、就业法和所有其它的我们对于欧盟失掉权限的法律,包括在十年或二十年内针对女王的每一次演说的三四十份新法案的起草,是这样吗?

大臣:呃——不确定——你能帮我厘清这个概念吗?

汉弗莱:你能帮我厘清这个概念吗?你可是那些全民公投中取胜的脱欧一方的其中一个[7]。

大臣:是的,但我们没料到我们会赢。

汉弗莱:你想要什么?

大臣:主权。

汉弗莱:我们已经有这个了。还要什么别的吗?

大臣:边界的掌控权。

汉弗莱:我们也有这个。别的呢?

大臣:瞧,当提到细节时,我们都想要点不同的东西。但是我们都同意一项至关重要的要素。

汉弗莱:哪一项?

大臣:脱欧。所以我们如何着手?

汉弗莱:第一件需要理解的事情是有一个欧洲理事会和一个欧盟部长理事会[8]。

大臣:它们不是相同的东西吗?

汉弗莱:不是。成员是28个成员国的28个国家元首的欧洲理事会,负责定义大体的政治方向和欧盟的优先权。而另一方面,欧盟部长理事会负责发展欧盟的通用外交政策,如果有的话,以及安全政策,负责敲定国际协议和正式通过欧盟预算。

大臣:谁管理欧盟?

汉弗莱:这是个有趣的问题。欧洲理事会会长在位三十个月,并负责准备议程以及担任欧洲理事会会议的主席,而欧盟部长理事会会长每任只有六个月,通过使国家运作,几乎没有足够的时间给一个钟点工型会长稳稳坐在自己的位子上好好做事情[9]。哪一个是问题所在?

大臣:所以谁真正使欧洲运转?

汉弗莱:又一个有趣的问题。干得好,大臣!欧盟在一个错综复杂的系统的基础上运行,而此系统又基于一种连锁重叠的法庭体系的等级制度机构,此法庭体系被设计用于在既共治又分治并监督欧盟及其关联组织的种类繁多的活动的大大小小的部门机构的同时分散权力。所以欧洲既不是由欧洲理事会会长掌管,也不是由欧盟部长理事会掌管,而是由欧洲委员会[10]会长掌管,类似于欧洲的首相,因为他选举了五年并且领导了一个内阁政府。然而,理事会的会长,另一方面,并非通过选举上任而是被委派上任,并主管理事会的各项会议,而不是内阁。

大臣:那欧洲理事会的成员都是谁呢?

汉弗莱:欧洲理事会的成员组成包括成员国的首脑,而相当于部长委员会[11]的欧盟部长理事会——另一方面——是真正的欧盟成员国政府之喉舌,因为它能正式通过欧盟法律和调节欧盟政策。有时为了更清晰明了,它直接被称为“理事会”。他们甚至不是为了显得滑稽才这么起名字的[12]。

大臣:它被叫做“理事会”。

汉弗莱:是的——但是不应该将欧盟部长理事会和欧洲理事会及欧洲委员会[13]混淆,也不能将其和有时也被简称作“理事会”的部长委员会混淆,虽然它不是和另外一个“理事会”同样的“理事会”,并且事实上根本不是欧盟的一部分。

大臣:没那么简单,对不对?

汉弗莱:请问您需要我们为您简化此事吗?

大臣:我需要。

汉弗莱:既然那样,把所有我们给你的文书从你的收文篮挪到发文盘就好了。我们会做剩下的事。

大臣:我能相信你吗?

汉弗莱:当然。我们是您卑微的仆人……

大臣:对,对!我早听过这套说辞了。但是你到底支不支持脱欧?

汉弗莱:这取决于脱欧究竟什么意思。

大臣:脱欧就是脱欧。

汉弗莱:是,大臣。

 

——————————————————————————

[1]此处外交大臣应该是指鲍里斯·约翰逊,鲍里斯的头发嘛,这个梗大家都懂。

[2]戴维斯先生:英国脱欧事务大臣大卫·戴维斯(David Davis)。

[3]福克斯先生:英国国际贸易大臣利亚姆·福克斯(Liam Fox)。

[4]志奋领:英国外交大臣官邸。

[5]此处原文为“I am fully seized of that notion and completely on board of course.”对于on board这个词组的翻译我询问了两位英语老师(因为这个短语原意是在甲板上或飞机上或火车上,一看就不是正确的翻译)。英语老师1说:“这个语境下该短语可理解为加入某一机构。”英语老师2说:“根据你发的上下内容来看,和on the same page这个词组的意思比较相近,应该是达成共识,意见一致的意思。”经过比对和考量,我决定选择英语老师2的翻译。

[6]“银行业、财务和管控活动”这一处我觉得我翻译得不好。原文是“banking, financial, and regulatory activity”。

[7]原文:“You are one of those who campaigned successfully for Brexit, in the referendum.”

[8]欧洲理事会原文是“European Council”,欧盟部长理事会原文是“Council of the European Union”。我的翻译不一定准确。(此处因为两个短语前面用的都是a,表示“有一个”,因此省略了the)

[9]后半句原文:“whereas the presidency of the Council of the European Union is held only for six months each, by rotating states, hardly enough time for a part-time president to get his feet under the desk.”

[10]欧洲委员会原文是“the European Commission”。

[11]原文:“which is often still referred to as the Council of Ministers”

[12]原文:“And they're not even trying to be funny.”

[13]此处欧洲委员会原文为“the Council of Europe”。

 

你们有谁知道哈克眼镜腿搅杯子那集是哪集吗?在线等,挺急的……
还有汉皮说公务员是玫瑰的是哪集?
说不出集数的话说出这集大概剧情也行。
(现在知道了,第一段是ym的s01e03,第二段是ypm的s02e05)

在像素涂色上涂了个小吉姆和小汉~

Sir Humphrey explains all:汉弗莱式脱欧

复制粘贴自英国卫报官网,2016年英国卫报试图用汉弗莱爵士的打开方式解释英国脱欧。

网址(打开需翻墙):https://amp.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2016/aug/07/yes-minister-brexit-eu-jonathan-lynn-sir-humphrey

我自己翻译的中文版:http://yurenhechuyecaoxianhua.lofter.com/post/1f9ddb08_1c60b6046

Yes Minister Brexit special – Sir Humphrey explains all

Wondering how leaving the EU will actually work? The legendary civil service mandarin clarifies the situation in a new sketch by Yes Minister creators Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay

Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay

Sun 7 Aug 2016 11.30 EDT

 
An office. There is a knock on the door.

Sir Humphrey Come in.

Minister I’m told I can find the new permanent secretary of the new Brexit ministry in here.

Sir Humphrey Indeed you can. Sir Humphrey Appleby at your service.

Minister I’m the new minister.

Sir Humphrey Which one?

Minister Which one?

Sir Humphrey Well, I know you’re not the foreign secretary – the hair, you know, big give-away – and you’re not Mr Davis nor Dr Fox.

Minister I’m shocked. I thought the civil service would be better prepared than this.

Sir Humphrey Normally we are. But normally the prime minister puts one person in charge of a new policy initiative, not a job lot.

Minister There is only one secretary of state for exiting the European Union.

Sir Humphrey So where is Mr Davis? We haven’t seen him yet.

Minister He’s over at Chevening.

Sir Humphrey Oh yes, the official residence the PM has ordered him to share with Boris and Liam.

Minister Yes. They’re squabbling over who gets the best bedroom.

Sir Humphrey So you’re one of the junior ministers.

Minister In charge of all legal matters.

Sir Humphrey Are you a lawyer?

Minister Unfortunately not.

Sir Humphrey On the contrary, that is most fortunate. The civil service has always opposed the appointment of anyone with specialised knowledge.

Minister Why?

Sir Humphrey Their preconceived ideas may not be compatible with government policy.

Minister What if the ideas are good?

Sir Humphrey Most good ideas are incompatible with government policy.

Minister Were you in favour of Brexit?

Sir Humphrey I, Minister? I am neither in favour of nor against anything. I am just a humble vessel into which ministers pour the fruits of their labour and their remarkable intellectual endeavours. So tell me – what are we trying to achieve here?

Minister Brexit.

Sir Humphrey I am fully seized of that notion and completely on board of course. But. What does it mean, exactly?

Minister Haven’t you heard the PM? Brexit means Brexit.

 'The Council of the European Union should not be ­confused with the European Council nor with the Council of Europe'

Sir Humphrey Indeed. So does Brexit mean keeping the City of London involved in some or all of European banking, financial and regulatory activity, or trade tariffs? Does it mean curtailing the movement rights of UK nationals as well as EU citizens? Does Brexit perhaps include revising our own governance as EU law recedes from our sceptred isle? Does Brexit mean the legislation of new health and safety regulations, employment and all other laws where we have lost competence to Brussels, including the drafting of 30 or 40 new bills for each Queen’s speech for a decade or two?

Minister Um – not sure – can you clarify that for me?

Sir Humphrey Can you clarify it for me? You are one of those who campaigned successfully for Brexit, in the referendum.

Minister Yes, but we didn’t expect to win.

Sir Humphrey What did you want?

Minister Sovereignty.

Sir Humphrey We had that already. What else?

Minister Control of our borders.

Sir Humphrey We had that too. Anything else?

Minister Look, when it came to the details, we all wanted something different. But we did agree on one vital essential.

Sir Humphrey Which was?

Minister Brexit. So how do we go about it?

Sir Humphrey The first thing to understand is that there is a European Council and a Council of the European Union.

Minister They’re not the same thing?

Sir Humphrey No. The European Council, whose members are the 28 heads of state of the 28 member states, defines the general political direction and priorities of the European Union whereas the Council of the European Union, on the other hand, develops the EU’s common foreign policy, in so far as there is any, and security policy, concludes international agreements and adopts the EU budget.

Minister Who’s in charge?

Sir Humphrey That’s an interesting question. The president of the European Council is in office for 30 months and is in charge of preparing the agenda and chairing the meetings of the European Council, whereas the presidency of the Council of the European Union is held only for six months each, by rotating states, hardly enough time for a part-time president to get his feet under the desk. Which is probably the idea.

Minister So who really runs Europe?

Sir Humphrey Another interesting question. Well done, Minister! The European Union is run on an intricate and sophisticated system based on an hierarchical structure of interlocking and overlapping jurisdictions designed to separate the powers whilst reinforcing the authority of the departments, institutions and agencies who collectively and separately control and supervise the diverse activities of the Union and its associated organisations. So Europe is not run by the president of the European Council or the Council of the European Union but by the president of the European Commission, who is akin to prime minister of Europe because he is elected for five years and heads a cabinet government whereas the president of the Council, on the other hand, is not elected but appointed, and presides over the meetings of the Council, which is not the cabinet.

'Just move all the paperwork that we give you from your in-tray to your out-tray. We’ll do the rest'

Minister Who are the members of the European Council?

Sir Humphrey The European Council’s membership consists of the heads of member states while the Council of the European Union, on the other hand – which is often still referred to as the Council of Ministers – is the real voice of EU member governments, adopting EU laws and coordinating EU policies. Sometimes it is just called “the Council” in the interests of clarity. And they’re not even trying to be funny.

Minister It’s called the Council.

Sir Humphrey Yes – but the Council of the European Union should not be confused with the European Council nor with the Council of Europe – nor the Council of Ministers, which is also sometimes just called “the Council”, although it is not the same Council as the other Council and is in fact not an EU body at all.

Minister It’s not that simple, is it?

Sir Humphrey Would you like us to simplify it for you?

Minister I would.

Sir Humphrey In that case, just move all the paperwork that we give you from your in-tray to your out-tray. We’ll do the rest.

Minister Can I trust you?

Sir Humphrey Of course. We are your humble servants ...

Minister Yes, yes! I’ve heard all that. But are you in favour of Brexit?

Sir Humphrey That depends what it means.

Minister Brexit means Brexit.

Sir Humphrey Yes Minister.

 

【是,大臣】哈克&汉弗莱经典语录之英国与欧洲与欧共体

【是,大臣】哈克&汉弗莱经典语录之英国与欧洲与欧共体

*语录中文部分全部采用破烂熊网站的翻译,英文部分根据破烂熊字幕有改动(因为原剧英文字幕有大量错误)。英文可能会出错(我的意思是说我手打的单词可能和原剧台词不一样),英文好的朋友可以听着原剧帮我校正校正,感谢了。

随着我买的YM及YPM衍生小说到货,我的吐槽欧洲经典台词摘录事业似乎容易了一些……不过,由于小说版的台词和原剧有许多出入,因此我还是有搞不清楚的地方,再次希望有好心的朋友帮忙校正,感谢了。

 

1、

(第一季第五集,The Writing On The Wall,大白天下)

Jim: Yes, don’t the Foreign Office realise the damage to the European idea?

吉姆:外交部不知道这会分裂大欧洲吗?

Humphrey: Well, I’m sure they do. That’s why they support it.

汉弗莱:当然知道。所以得支持。

Jim: Well, sure, the Foreign Office is pro-Europe, isn’t it?

吉姆:外交部该亲欧洲吧。

Humphrey: Yes and no…if you’ll forgive the expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe, because it is really anti-Europe.The Civil Service was united in its desire to make sure that the Common Market didn’t work. That’s why we went into it.

汉弗莱:是也不是……原谅我的措辞。外交部亲欧洲,实际是为了反欧洲。公务员团结在这一理念下,保证共同市场不能形成。所以我们打进去。

Jim: What are you talking about?

吉姆:你在说什么?

Humphrey: Minister, Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least 500 years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now when it’s worked well?

汉弗莱:大臣,英国的外交目标500年来没有变过——制造一个分裂的欧洲。因此,我们联荷兰制西班牙,联德国制法国,联法国和意大利制德国,联法国制德国和意大利,分而治之。您看,一贯效果很好。为什么要改变?

Jim: That’s all ancient history, surely.

吉姆:这都是老黄历了吧。

Humphrey: Yes, and current policy. We had to break the whole thing [the EEC] up, so we had to get inside. We tried to break it up from the outside, but that wouldn’t work. Now that we’re inside, we can make a complete pig’s breakfast of the whole thing: set the Germans against the French, the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch. The Foreign Office is terribly pleased, it’s just like old times.

汉弗莱:对,也是现行政策。我们得打进去,从内部攻破。我们施加过外力,没有成效。现在可以从里面把它搅成一锅粥了。挑德国反法国,挑法国反意大利,挑意大利反荷兰。外交部高兴坏了,光辉岁月又回来了。

Jim: Surely we’re all committed to the European ideal.

吉姆:但我们都忠于大欧洲理念吧。

Humphrey: Really, Minister.

汉弗莱:诚然,大臣。

Jim: If not, why are we pressing for an increase in the membership?

吉姆:不然为什么要增加成员国?

Humphrey: Well, for the same reason, it’s just like the United Nations in fact. The more members it has, the more arguments it can stir up, the more futileand impotent it becomes.

汉弗莱:一个道理,就像联合国。群龙无首,人多嘴杂,它就越发鸡毛蒜皮。

Jim: What appalling cynicism.

吉姆:这也太世故了吧。

Humphrey: Yes. We call it diplomacy, Minister.

汉弗莱:是的。我们一般叫做外交,大臣。

 

2、

(第二季第五集,The Devil You Know,两害相权)

Humphrey: Well Minister, I’m afraid that is the penalty we have to pay for trying to pretend that we’re Europeans. Believe me, I fully understand your hostility to Europe.

汉弗莱:大臣,恐怕我们假装欧洲人,总得受点惩罚。我完全明白您对欧洲的敌意。

Jim: I’m not like you, Humphrey. I’m pro-Europe,and just anti-Brussels. I sometimes think you’re anti-Europe and pro-Brussels.

吉姆:我不像你,汉弗莱。我是亲欧洲,反欧共体。有时我觉得你倒是反欧洲,亲欧共体。

Humphrey: Oh Minister, I’m neither pro nor anti anything. I’m merely a humble vessel into which Ministers pour the fruits of their deliberations. But it could well be argued that, given the absurdity of the whole European idea, Brussels is in fact doing its best to defend the indefensible and make the unworkable work.

汉弗莱:大臣,我既不亲谁,也不反谁。我只是卑微的社会公器,盛放您深思熟虑的果实。但可以看出,考虑到大欧洲理念的荒谬,欧共体已尽力辩不可辩之理,行不可行之事。

Jim: That is simply not true, Humphrey. I don’t want to sound pompous, but the European ideal is our best hope of avoiding narrow national self-interest.

吉姆:话不能这么说,汉弗莱。不是我浮夸,靠着欧洲理念,我们才能超越狭隘的国家利益。

Humphrey: It doesn’t sound pompous, Minister.

汉弗莱:一点都不浮夸。

Jim: Good.

吉姆:很好。

Humphrey: Merely inaccurate.

汉弗莱:只是不准确罢了。

Jim: Listen, Humble Vessel. Europe is a community of nations, dedicated towards one goal… May we share the joke, Humphrey?

吉姆:听好了,卑微的社会公器。欧洲各国本是一体,致力于同一个目标……什么这么好笑,汉弗莱?

Humphrey: Oh Minister, let’s look at this objectively. It’s a game played for national interests, it always was. Why do you suppose we went into it?

汉弗莱:大臣,我们客观地来看。这是各国利益的博弈场。我们为什么加入?

Jim: To strengthen the brotherhood of Free Western nations. 

吉姆:为了加强自由西方国家的联盟。

Humphrey: Oh really. We went in to screw the French by splitting them off from the Germans.

汉弗莱:大臣,是为了离间德法,从而压倒法国。

Jim: So why did the French go into it then?

吉姆:那法国呢?

Humphrey: Well, to protect their inefficient farmers from commercial competition.

汉弗莱:为保护他们没用的农民免遭竞争。

Jim: That certainly doesn’t apply to the Germans.

吉姆:德国不是吧。

Humphrey: No no, they went in to cleanse themselves of genocide and apply for readmission to the human race.

汉弗莱:他们是为洗清种族灭绝的罪名,请求重新加入人类社会。

Jim: I never heard such appalling cynicism. At least the small nations didn’t go into it for selfish reasons.

吉姆:这也太尖酸刻薄了。那些小国总不是为自身利益吧?

Humphrey: Oh really? Luxembourg is in it for the perks; the capital of the EEC, all that foreign money pouring in.

汉弗莱:是吗?卢森堡是为了赏钱,作为欧共体首都,外国资金滚滚而来。

Jim: Very sensible central location.

吉姆:他们本来就在中心位置。

Humphrey: With the administration in Brussels and the Parliament in Strasbourg? Minister,it’s like having the House of Commons in Swindon and the Civil Service in Kettering.

汉弗莱:总部在布鲁塞尔,议会在斯特拉斯堡?大臣,这就像把下院设在大西北,公务员放在中南部。

Jim: If this were true, why would the other nations have been trying to get in?

吉姆:这么说,别的国家又图什么?

Humphrey: Such as?

汉弗莱:比如?

Jim: Well, take the Greeks.

吉姆:想想希腊。

Humphrey: Actually, I find it difficult to take the Greeks. Openminded as I am about foreigners, as you both well know. But what will they want out of it? – an olive mountain and a retsina lake.

汉弗莱:我想不通希腊,尽管我对外国人一向很开明。他们要什么?橄榄山和松香酒湖?

Jim: I just don't accept any of these!

吉姆:我不信这些!

Humphrey: Oh, I'm so sorry, Minister, I suppose some of your best friends are Greeks?

汉弗莱:对不起,大臣,你有些好朋友是希腊人?

Jim: Very droll. The trouble with Brussels is not internationalism. It means too much bureaucracy.

吉姆:很好笑。欧共体的问题不在国际合作,而在官僚主义。

Humphrey: But the bureaucracy is a consequence of the internationalism. Why else would there be an English Commissioner with a French Director-General immediately below him, and an Italian Chef-du-Division reporting to the Frenchman and so on down the line?

汉弗莱:可官僚主义正是国际合作的结果。不然为什么一个英国总长,下设一名法国主任,再往下又是一名意大利科长?

Jim: Oh, I agree.

吉姆:我同意。

Humphrey: It is like the Tower of Babel.

汉弗莱:这是巴别塔。

Jim: I agree.

吉姆:我同意。

Humphrey: No, it's even worse, it is like the United Nations.

汉弗莱:或者简直是联合国。

Jim: I agree.

吉姆:我同意。

Bernard: Then perhaps, if I may interject, you are in fact in agreement.

伯纳德:能插句嘴吗?你们俩是不是彼此都同意?

Jim&Humphrey: No we're not!

吉姆&汉弗莱:没那事!

Jim: Brussels is a shambles. You know what they say about the average Common Market official: he has the organizing ability of the Italians, the flexibility of the Germans, and the modesty of the French. And that's topped up by the imagination of the Balgians, the generosity of the Dutch and the intelligence of the Irish. It's all a greatly gravy train.

吉姆:典型欧共体官员什么样?意大利人的组织能力,德国人的弹性,法国人的谦逊,再加比利时人的想象力,荷兰人的慷慨,还有爱尔兰人的智力水平。而且还是个保险箱。

Humphrey: What do you mean?

汉弗莱:怎么讲?

Jim: They live on champagne and caviar, air-conditioned Mercedes, private aeroplanes. Every one of those officials has got his snout in the trough. Most of them have got their two front trotters in as well.

吉姆:喝香槟,吃鱼子酱,公家豪华轿车,私人飞机。个个都伸嘴在食槽里拱,大多数人连前蹄也伸了进去。

Humphrey: Oh Minister, I beg to differ. Brussels is full of busy hard-working public servants who have to endure a lot of exhausting travel and tedious entertainment.

汉弗莱:抱歉我不同意。布鲁塞尔的人都是辛劳的公仆。他们整日奔波,忍受无聊的招待。

Jim: Oh terribly tedious, working their way through all that smoked salmon, forcing back all that champagne.

吉姆:是无聊哦,干掉那么多熏鲑鱼,灌进那么多香槟酒。